Baby Reaches Moon, Astounding Scientists and Civilians Alike

Shortly after breakfast, a nondescript spacecraft materialized in Dining Room. Upon inquiry, the astronaut aboard told me it was a slightly altered space shuttle that bears a curious resemblance to a baby jumping seat turned on its side. The nose of the shuttle is softer than normal shuttles' and has a control panel that appears to be made of bits of buttons and pipe cleaners. (The advances in science and modern technology are baffling, aren't they?) The mission of the space shuttle this time was to accomplish something never before even attempted by astronauts or cosmonauts: to take a human baby to the moon.

Astronaut Calvin explains the controls to me, pre-launch.

He welcomes his co-pilot, Baby___.

Though appearing nervous at first, Baby___ quickly settled into his role.

Astronaut Calvin informed me that the plan was to merely, "orbit the moon with the baby, since the moon is too dangerous for babies since they don't have much gravity." The baby, whose name cannot be printed here due to the requested  privacy of his parents, displayed a cavalier and adventurous spirit while in space. Brazenly radioing Mission Control, he requested permission to land on the moon! What could they do to stop him? Astronaut Calvin explained he was honored just to be in the baby's presence as his tiny body calmly but assertively took over the flight. As the shuttle orbited the moon, the astronauts successfully commandeered the Lunar Module onto the moon. Since Baby ___ cannot yet walk, they performed a Lunar Sit together, as Earth beautifully sank low into the sky.

Baby ___ radios for permission to land.

Calvin affirms Mission Control's consent.  

Moon sit

Aided by gigantic parachutes, and an immense amount of drama, including a small explosion in the fuel tank, the astronauts found themselves landing in the "Specific Ocean," where divers plucked them out of their module, to wild civilian applause.

Some emotion finally spreads across Baby ___'s face after
the historical landing and sitting.

Holding hands, the two prepare to enter Earth's atmosphere once again.

They wait patiently for divers to rescue them from their module in the ocean.

Baby___ modestly declined comment, but it should also be noted that he does not have many words in his vocabulary at this time.