Friday, February 21, 2020

This is 40, Installment 9

The day is fast-approaching. It's less than a month now until I turn 40. I feel like I'm recording my last will and testament here. My last words. But for now I'd just like to write about smoothies. Why? Because they're amazing and I'm completely in love and I think it might make me old. Or else super healthy and robust.

For the past three months I've been making smoothies nearly ever morning. How else do you expect me to eat kale? Turns out kale is not only ridiculously good for you, it's also super filling. I can exist all morning with my tummy full of kale and a whole bunch of fruit and seeds and not be hungry until noon or later. It also cuts down on my coffee-intake, which I suppose is for the best.

I feel like smoothies could be an old person drink. You know, don't have to put the dentures in, just blend, sip through an elbow straw so you don't to raise your head, and swallow. But I don't actually think smoothies are an old person thing; I just thought they might make a good turning 40 blog post.

However, they did make me think of dentures.

So.

This is 40.
Denture-friendly 

In case you're interested in practicing for the denture life, or tricking yourself into eating kale, here's what I've been putting in smoothies. Not all of these into one smoothie, but I've found good combinations of flavors that include these ingredients.

kale
spinach
carrots
bananas
pears
apples
oranges
frozen strawberries
frozen mixed berries
frozen cucumber slices from cucumbers that had been in the fridge too long so I froze them.
frozen cranberries
frozen pineapple chunks
avocado
coconut
ground oatmeal
chia seeds (soak 'em first) 
ground flax seed
plain yogurt (vanilla-flavored when I'm feeling wild)
coconut milk
unsweetened cranberry juice
ice cubes




Thursday, February 6, 2020

This Is 40, Installment 8

It hit me like a dump truck full of bricks tonight. There's this thing I do and I'm pretty sure it's not what people under 40 do. Certainly not people under 30. It's about my text life.

When I'm texting I go light on the emojis and heavy on...wait for it... the adverbs. I use adverbs in my texts. I think that's uncool. A quick glance through my phone and you will see that my texts have more adverbs than necessary. One of my favorite quotes about writing is from Steven King: "The road to hell is paved with adverbs." And I agree. Generally. (See what I did there?) It's the whole showing vs. telling, and using too many adverbs is grounds for writer divorce.

This whole idea made me look through my texts for adverbs, and that morphed into finding words that a 20 or 30 something year old would probably not use. I also used the words tacos and cheese an excessive amount of times over such a short period of time. (But, I mean, can you blame me? Are there better things than tacos and cheese?)

At least I didn't come across any of the text with  ranDOMly CapITALIZED letters that make me feel like I'm BEING YELLED AT.

Here are some uncool words/old person words and adverbs from my last few weeks of texts:

Uncool/Old Person Words        Adverbs
colloquialism                             accidentally
obligations                                 totally
prearranged                                totally
proctor                                       possibly
hardcore                                     totally
Pinterest                                     completely
chemicals                                   enthusiastically
incorporate                                 totally
plumber                                      exuberantly
manuscript                                  loudly
database                                      selfishly
cornbread                                    objectively
referral                                        hopefully
attendance                                   finally
symptoms                                   definitely
grammar                                     totally
negative                                      originally
shitburgers                                  totally
confirm                                       really
vulnerable
kale
confirmation
disregard


This is 40.


Nostalgically going through pics lately... BFFs from college. All turning 40 this year!

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