Friday, January 6, 2012

The Stairs or the Fire?

Making decisions has never been something I'm good at. Would I rather have pizza or Chinese food? I either don't care and defer to the company I'm with, or struggle about the merits of both options and torture myself with the what-ifs. I'm rarely good at quickly deciding on anything. 

But becoming a parent has sped up my decision-making process in most areas. Since I have twins, who go through the same stages at the same time, those decisions really sped up when they began walking. It was as if I was being forced in a split second to answer nearly-philosophical questions that deserve pondering and postulating over. For example: one boys toddles off toward the stairs as another nears a blazing fire. Which do I grab first? Is being burned worse than falling? Ready, set, go! Decide! Now! One boy is eating a bug out of the sand, the other is racing toward the water without a life jacket. BAM. Decide! It's seriously something that you might have a group discussion about in a philosophy class. If Hitler were drowning in a river, and you were a lifeguard, would you jump in and save him? That type of thing. Is it worse for Clark to step on and break his guitar or for Calvin to pee all over the floor? It's really a tough call.

Now there are the discipline decisions since both boys are fond of throwing loud obnoxious fits lately. What is the nature and degree of the offense? If one boy won't stop kicking me while I change his diaper, should I kick him back (Which I've gently done while sitting down and it works like a charm, because it offends them. It's like a slow motion pretend kick, but they hate it.), or do I put him in his bed for a time out? Does one boy hitting the other boy in self-defense deserve the same disciplining that an offensive hit warrants? Better decide fast!

I think I'm getting better at the split-second decision-making than I was pre-babies, but I'm still not much good at it. Or am I?

And what should I make for dinner…?

Is this the best way for him to learn not to stick his head in a fountain spout? Maybe.


  1. I love this. And I identify, but only times 0.5. I am glad I had kids at different stages, though that brings its own set of unique challenges. Let the teenager watch South Park? How to best distract the curious 7 year old while that happens? Ugh.

  2. Oh no. That's a tough one. What is your policy? Wish I had considered South Park before bringing boys into the world...


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