Lumpy Tree can be described in a number of ways, but even pictures and words don't do it justice. To give you a rough idea, it looks like:
· A hairball that a large pine tree puked out, that then grew a stump and stuck around
· Two trees that fell in love, started growing together as one and then got in a giant fight but couldn't quite separate again
· Twin trees, where one was always bigger and stronger and eventually ate the smaller one
· A tree that grew close to a nuclear facility
I could not believe that I was being pressured to put this coniferous pile of green in my living room. But what was I supposed to do? Be a bratty suburban wife with a perfect triangle tree when my boys all want a less-than-desirable one?
So I gave the go-ahead and Brian sawed it down. The guys who run the farm laughed hysterically and asked if we were kidding when we came dragging the tree over toward our car. They said they knew no one would want that one and they weren't sure what they were going to do with it. "This is one happy tree tonight!" one of the guys said. Cute.
All the way home the boys were talking about how much they love their new friend Lumpy Tree, and what would Lumpy Tree say about our house? Would he like it? It did feel kind of cool and generous to be taking a tree that no one else wanted and decorating it in our house. I’ll admit that.
The boys woke up super-stoked to decorate the tree. And I mean, bouncing-off-the-walls stoked. We did it and they were exuberant about it the entire time. This was a huge switch from the past seven or eight years, where I usually quietly and sentimentally do it by myself while listening to soft Christmas music late at night. Every ornament had its place. Big difference this morning. A couple ornaments were broken, and they were way unequally distributed. The boys are even more deeply in love with our beautiful Lumpy Tree now that it is covered in lights and ornaments. When we walk in the door, they immediately remind us we need to turn Lumpy Tree’s lights on. It now looks like Christmas threw up in our living room.
However, I’ll admit that even though he’s only been here for 24 hours, I’ve become kind of fond of our Lumpy Tree. And if we got a respectable, triangle tree, there would be no reason to write a blog entry about it.
Click here to find out about the other surprise we got from Lumpy Tree.
|So many trees to run in between!|
|Perfectly respectable tree|
|Clark found the perfect tree for our Baby Peapod!|
|Yep. Meet Lumpy Tree.|
|Lumpy Tree, meet our house.|
|This. Just. Happened.|
|Weird, protruding branch in prominant location|
|Unbridled decorating enthusiasm-- doesn't even need |
pants on for it.
|What a pile of beauty|
|Oh, Lumpy Tree.|
|Weird exposure shot|