One night last week my brother and I met up for our annual
Christmas non-shopping trip. It’s a yearly event that I wrote about here last
year. To set the scene, I must remind you that I don’t shop much. I
can’t drive and I have twin three year-olds; we don't spend much time in stores.
There’s the occasional rush into the grocery store by our house, and the hectic
trip through the craft store (No, we do not need a shopping cart full of yarn! Or ten mini Nutcracker dolls!) and the family trip to Costco, but overall I
don’t hang out in stores often. So when I am in places like Target or the
grocery store without children I experience an eerie, otherworldly feeling that
can either be super empowering or completely terrifying.
My brother Aaron lives in DC and also doesn’t do much shopping—
certainly not much shopping in malls or big box stores— and since we both share
a dislike of shopping in general, he’s the perfect company for me. We wander
around amazed at the bright lights and loud whistles of robust consumerism. We either eat ice cream or drink beer,
depending on my pregnancy status, and we don’t get much done, other than spending time together. We try not to
make lists of things to do so that we can’t fail. Anything we might come away
with is a bonus!
Aaron came over, we had dinner at our house, and then the
two of us headed out for our night of not accomplishing anything more than
hanging out and having quality sibling time. I had one thing I needed to do; I
needed to pick up our Christmas cards at Wal Mart. Aaron hadn’t done any
Christmas shopping, so he was asking about what the boys would like for Christmas. I said
something about Duplo blocks because they’re really into them lately, and Aaron
saw a Toys R Us sign. I’d only been to a Toys R Us once or twice. Aaron had
never been to one. We weren’t in the lane to turn but we made an exciting, fast
lane change and swung over to make the turn. A snap decision! We were off to
the most exciting start to our non-shopping trip that we’d ever had!
After we
made the quick turn we saw the store was actually a Babies R Us.
False
alarm.
False awesomeness.
Then we couldn’t make a U turn and we had to drive
onto a deserted and closed satellite college campus. It was quite a letdown. We
drove toward Wal Mart, feeling cheated.
We promptly took another wrong turn or
two before we actually walked into the blazing lights and dancing colors and curious
smells of Wal Mart. We quickly took care of the only item on my list and picked
up our cards. Then Aaron realized he needed printer ink and we were off to get
swallowed up in the madness. He sat down with the ink cartridges for a long time
while I just thumbed through the bins and bins of CDs and DVDs. Alas, the giant aisle
of print cartridges did not have the one Aaron needed. However, he remembered that he needed some batteries, so he got those, and that made us feel oddly productive.
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Aaron, lost amongst the cartridges |
We found a
puzzle for our parents and looked at some of the toys and games. Weirdest among them was the board game based on the A&E TV show about storage. Really? It all just made me so
tired. I found a couple more little things for the boys in the art supply
section. Aaron was approached by some missionaries! This
was new. What a crazy mission field Wal Mart must be.
I nudged Aaron away from the candles this year, and we also avoided the deodorant aisle. He likes the scents but also the names, like Freedom and such. (What might Freedom smell like? It's intriguing, but can take up all evening if we're not careful.)
After we paid, we ate
frozen yogurt and headed to World Market. Reminder: I’m 11 weeks pregnant and
have been an exhausted heap quite a bit during the past weeks. After we wandered around a
little, this fog of tiredness settled over me. There are always amusing, eccentric
trinkets to be found at World Market, but after awhile it all runs together. Lord of The Rings Pez dispensers? Check. Bear keychains that poop? Check.
Aaron once again was caught up in the
olive oils section and I finally succumbed to my exhaustion and sat down in an
abandoned corner nestled up with some pig-shaped roaster crock things. That's what
happens to me lately when I spy those enticing flat surfaces of any type. Even a cement floor gave me some rejuvenation. After ten minutes or so I
stood up and we left the store. It was nearly miraculous: Aaron had found some
gifts for his girlfriend! I found a few stocking stuffers.
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View from my delightfully flat surface |
We swung by a
real Toys R Us (wow, what a place) and Aaron got some blocks for the boys while I tried to keep my eyelids from closing while plodding through rows of Barbies.
We
had more good sibling conversation on the way home and I sent him off to Chicago and Idaho for
Christmastime. It was a remarkably successful Dawn and Aaron non-shopping trip. And I curled up in my coat in the fetal position on the gloriously flat dining room floor for the night.
Just kidding. I went to real bed. It was hard to shuffle down the hall, but I made it.