We threw away my old fake tree after last Christmas. It had seen many better
days and we thought that by this Christmas the boys would enjoy going out to an
actual tree farm and picking out a tree. So we went. We went to
Joe's Trees in
Loudon County. The boys loved running around, squealing about all the trees,
pointing out all the "sad Christmas stumps" from the trees that had
already been cut down. Brian was completely ambivalent about tree choice. He
told me, "Pick whatever you want because I don't care at all." Well,
he didn't care at all until he saw Lumpy Tree. He was then convinced that this
was the tree we needed more than anything.
Lumpy Tree can be described in a number of ways, but even pictures and words
don't do it justice. To give you a rough idea, it looks like:
·
A hairball that a large pine tree puked out,
that then grew a stump and stuck around
·
Two trees that fell in love, started growing
together as one and then got in a giant fight but couldn't quite separate again
·
Twin trees, where one was always bigger and stronger
and eventually ate the smaller one
·
A tree that grew close to a nuclear facility
I mean, this thing is a
pile. But Brian fell in love and soon the
boys were also boisterously declaring their love of Lumpy Tree. It was the
only
tree they
ever wanted to bring home. It was
so beautiful and
lumpy!
It was a
great as a
cow! (This was Cal's phrase, and I'm not
quite sure I follow it...) Lumpy Tree was
so excited to see our house!
They couldn't
believe how
cute Lumpy Tree was!
I could not believe that I was being pressured to put this coniferous pile
of green in my living room. But what was I supposed to do? Be a bratty suburban wife with a
perfect triangle tree when my boys all want a less-than-desirable one?
So I gave the go-ahead and Brian sawed it down. The guys who run the farm
laughed hysterically and asked if we were kidding when we came dragging the
tree over toward our car. They said they knew no one would want that one and
they weren't sure what they were going to do with it. "This is one happy
tree tonight!" one of the guys said. Cute.
All the way home the boys were talking about how much they love their new
friend Lumpy Tree, and what would Lumpy Tree say about our house? Would he like
it? It did feel kind of cool and generous to be taking a tree that no one else wanted and
decorating it in our house. I’ll admit that.
The boys woke up super-stoked to decorate the tree. And I mean,
bouncing-off-the-walls stoked. We did it and they were exuberant about it the
entire time. This was a huge switch from the past seven or eight years, where I
usually quietly and sentimentally do it by myself while listening to soft Christmas
music late at night. Every ornament had its place. Big difference this morning. A couple ornaments were
broken, and they were
way unequally distributed. The boys are even more deeply in love with our
beautiful
Lumpy Tree now that it is covered in lights and ornaments. When we walk in the
door, they immediately remind us we need to turn Lumpy Tree’s lights on. It now
looks like Christmas threw up in our living room.
However, I’ll admit that even though he’s only been here for 24 hours, I’ve become
kind of fond of our Lumpy Tree. And if we got a respectable, triangle tree, there would be no reason to write a blog entry about it.
Click
here to find out about the
other surprise we got from Lumpy Tree.
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| So many trees to run in between! |
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| Perfectly respectable tree |
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| Clark found the perfect tree for our Baby Peapod! |
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| Yep. Meet Lumpy Tree. |
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| Lumpy Tree, meet our house. |
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| This. Just. Happened. |
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| Weird, protruding branch in prominant location |
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Unbridled decorating enthusiasm-- doesn't even need
pants on for it. |
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| What a pile of beauty |
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| Oh, Lumpy Tree. |
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| Weird exposure shot |