Monday it happened again. I cut up banana in little pieces in Cal’s oatmeal and strawberries for Clark. Refused to take a bite. Yep. We were planning to go listen to Mr. Knick Knack at town center with their friends and so I foolishly(?) boxed myself in and told them we weren’t going to see Mr. Knick Knack unless they took just one bite of oatmeal. An hour passed. I sat there at the table with them for over an hour as they refused to take a single bite. I tried to be calm. I sipped my coffee. I read a cookbook. We talked about the weather. I took deep breaths. I was in it to win it even though I didn’t want to be. They moaned, they wailed, they laughed, they changed the subject. Finally Clark acknowledged defeat and humbly took a bite. Shocker, he then took a bunch of bites because EVERYONE KNOWS OATMEAL WITH MILK AND STRAWBERRIES IS DELICIOUS. Arg. He elicited loud praise from me, and even Cal said, “Sharky did a great job!” but he refused to take a bite of his. What to do? Clark wanted to see Mr. Knick Knack, and as much as I wanted to leave Calvin at home in his chair with his nose in oatmeal, I had to take him too. I packed up the oatmeal and a spoon.
|Oatmeal Standoff, mid squirms|
So that is how Cal can beat me even when he’s not actually beating me.
Yesterday morning it was eggs and bacon and bananas. First of all the charming part: when I took the raw bacon out of the wrapper and held up two pieces to show the boys, Calvin said, “like a butterfly!” It did look a little like a butterfly because the strips were pretty wide and I was holding them up from one end and parallel to each other. That’s where the charm ran out. They ate their bacon fine. They had to be coaxed to eat bites of their eggs by being promised another bite of bacon. I left the room for a tenth of a second and when I came back all the eggs and bananas were on the floor and the little boogers were giggling. As I stormed toward them, Clark piped up, “How about a little Jimmy Buffet?” Small brain explosion. Instead I dragged the garbage can over to the table and made them get down and pick up the carnage. Of course that was nearly impossible because they kept changing the subject and wanting to look in the garbage can and talk about the banana peel and the old coffee grounds and Jimmy Buffet. Finally, after I had managed to get them to pick up a few of the bigger chunks, my friend Gen came over to go for a walk and when I turned around she was picking up the eggs.
I’m praying for a better breakfast day this morning. I could always go the easy route and march them across the street to the bagel shop. But the free-bagel-upon-purchase-of-a-beverage coupon has run out so it’s less tempting. Ice cream? Teddy Grahams? Mimosas?