This is 40, Installment 5

You know the social formalities we all go through with acquaintances, coworkers, even strangers:

"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm fine, how are you?"

"How was your weekend?"
"It was great, thanks, how was yours?"
"Good, thanks."

Whenever possible I try to switch things up and say something unexpected and funny, but let's face it, sometimes we're all just trying to get through our days without being rude. Just trying to get by, and falling into these comfortable exchanges is just that-- comforting. Predictable.

Some expressions I've heard lately have rubbed me the wrong way. Probably because of my impending 40th (which I am now referring to as Black Tuesday). I'm absolutely sure there was no malice in any of the things these people said, but still... I'm sensitive right now.

"You look tired."

What am I supposed to say to this? Yeah, I've been flying through the solar system on this rock for 40 years, of course I'm tired. Shut up, you're 16 and you smell weird. (I mean, that's just an idea.)

"You don't look good. Are you okay?"

I mean how do you respond? Ok? Thanks, you don't either? And I mean, is anyone really okay?


I've said these things to people, and I'm probably still going to say them to people, and they will say them to me, because it's just habit, and I believe most of the time well-intended. But still. I want to try not to say these things to adults. Who knows, someone else might be in the throes of midlife crisis like I am and cry themselves to sleep after hearing that they look tired, even though they slept for 10 hours in a row last night and spent the weekend at the spa.

Too soon, people! It's coming too soon.

This is 40.

Plaid pajamas make me think of old people.