How to Make Ceiling Fan Costumes in 38 Easy Steps

1.       Find a good time to leave the boys at home with Dad and then walk to your local craft store. Buy three sections of black foam board, black t-shirts, Velcro, duct tape, and baseball-size Styrofoam balls from the floral department.

2.       Bring home and store in a heap on the counter for 3 days.

3.       During boys’ nap time, while Babysitting Girl is watching Baby Einstein, take out foam board, ruler, scissors, pencil, and place on the floor.

4.       Outline the first blade in pencil with the help of the ruler.

5.       Get up and put Baby Alex back on the rocking horse. 

6.       Return and try to cut the board with the scissors. You can’t.

7.       Go to the closet to get the exacto knife and cardboard to put underneath the foam board.

8.       Turn off video. Play peek-a-boo with Baby Alex while running in circles (after carefully placing the knife down?)

9.       Return to floor and make first cut with knife.

10.   Get Baby Alex a cup of milk.

11.   Return to floor and successfully cut first blade.

12.   Retrieve Baby Alex from toddling down the hall to wake up the boys. Read her The Nose Book. Read her the First Words book.

13.   Answer the door. Send Baby Alex home with her daddy. Squirrel away fan materials behind the recliner and on the counter.

14.   Do some dishes. Get dinner things ready. Chat with husband when he comes home.

15.   Walk to the library to tutor Freshman Dancer Girl. Tutor. Walk home.

16.   Eat dinner and discuss the various sauce colors Dad has made with the boys for their hot dogs.

17.   Do a craft with paper plates and colored felt that gets spread all over the living room.

18.   Apply pajamas. Read stories. Brush teeth. Make boys clean up their toys. Clean up the other toys. Find all the necessary comfort stuffed animals. Tuck in. Say prayers. Close door.

tumbler of wine for late-night steps

19.   Clear and wash the table. Uncork wine.

20.   Move fan materials from squirrel holes to table. Pour glass of wine.

21.   Open Word document. Begin typing how to make fan costumes blog entry.

22.   Cut the rest of the blades. Remarkably easy with no kids and on the table!

23.   Finish glass of wine. Exhausted, go to sleep.

24.   Wake up to kids wanting to make pancakes. Make pancakes, allowing kids to help. Clean up spilled flour. Stop egg just in time from rolling off the counter. Cut up apple chunks and sneak into pancakes for fruit serving. Administer pancakes. Clean up pancakes. Wash syrup off all surfaces in the vicinity of the table. Load dishwasher. Start dishwasher.

25.   Answer door. Neighbor has locked herself out. Help her open her door. Show her fan costume pieces. Boys give her Halloween cookies they made and explain each shape to her: cat, bat, pumpkin, house.

26.   Show boys the fan so far, and the hot glue gun from a safe distance. Glue blades on center to complete one fan. Clean up the tiny trimmings from the blades that have been removed from their neat pile and strewn about the house.

27.   Trim sides of Styrofoam balls and glue on base for lights. Wash Styrofoam bits off four little hands. Hot glue the “lights” to two circular bases.

28.   Get call from friend in the area. She is coming over with her twins. Try to straighten house quickly. Forget to look in mirror. When she arrives show her fan costume progress. Apply Velcro to one shirt front and affix the “light fixture” to it. Gain her approval of fan design idea.

Velcro-ing fan to shirt

29.   Put shirt on Calvin to much screaming. Try to hold the fan behind him and get a picture so he can see how cool he looks as a ceiling fan. Doesn’t work. Take off shirt. Say goodbye to friends. Look in mirror. Holy hair.

30.   Give in to polite but persistent pleas to puddle-stomp. Apply necessary garb. Go outside and supervise the happy hollering and splashing. Take a video. Entice boys to come upstairs by telling them they get to watch the video of themselves. (Is this wrong? Maybe.)

31.   Peel off saturated clothing. Wring out and hang up. Tip over rain boots to dry. Change diapers, reapply clean, dry clothing.

32.   Make lunch while boys watch videos of themselves puddle-stomping. Boys eat lunch. Read story. Tuck into beds for nap. Sigh.

33.   Eat yogurt and mac and cheese crumbs from boys’ lunch.

Old elastic necklace and button as pull-cord 

34.   Find old necklace made of elastic for pull cord on fans. Cut two pieces off and attach with hot glue to “light fixtures” with the help of buttons.

35.   Get a call that the 5pm Halloween party is actually at 4pm.

36.    Cut second set of fan blades out and glue together. Affix all pieces to t-shirts.

37.   Take shower. Pack costumes. Pack diaper bag. Wake up boys. Change boys. Greet husband coming home. All leave together to walk to party.

38.   Arrive, a giant ball of awesome, with two smiling ceiling fans at party.

Ceiling Fan A

They were a little party-shy at first.

But soon they were gobbling lollipops.

Looking out the window of the 15th floor. Ceiling fans have good views!